nature vs nurture: a rambling monologue

**Bambi** · 11-27-2009, 01:28 PM

I've posted this photo before, but for the context of this post here it is again:

This is my daughter and son, when this picture was done she was about 9-10 and my son 7-8. She's 'Link' from the Zelda video games and he's a soldier.

They are now 19 and 17 respectively. Daughter is in art school pursuing a BFA with an interest in a career as a video game artist. My son has just applied to Military college. He wants to be an Engineer in the army.

It's been an interesting journey raising these two. My personal belief is that there are two types of people in the world: those who know how to raise kids and those who have kids.

My husband and I have done our best to instill empathy, respect and independence in them and I believe that they are doing just fine in this regard. I have never dictated what career or interests they should pursue and we have done our best to support these interests even when they seemed to come out of left field. (BTW, if your child wants to play the drum-like mine did, then realize that every single band practice is going to be at your house!). Looking back it seems that they are exactly who they were when they were born, just bigger and more developed.

When I came across this picture it struck me how strongly it echoed what they are seeking to become on the next phase of their journey. Certainly there is a strong military history in my family (none in my husbands) and a creative bent (although no professionals). I sometimes wonder if they would be pursuing these same interests had they been someone else's kids. but then they if they were someone else's then the genetic material would be completely different. So perhaps I mean if they had been raised by someone else.

I know we influenced their character development but I don't think we changed who they were and not sure we could have even if we tried.

boy you should see how my thoughts ramble with a few beers and basket of wings in front of me!

**kat** · 11-27-2009, 02:02 PM

Firstly..YOU GOT YOUR WINGS

It's funny how that photo still reflects their lives today. I am no where near what I wanted to be at that age. I had lots of opportunities in life but none that appealed to me.

I hope their dreams come true!

**Iguanasan** · 11-27-2009, 02:11 PM

Interesting ramble and I suspect I'll have one myself in the not too distant future, my kids being 16 and 10. Of course, I always find beer helps those ramblings along quite nicely

They sound like good kids with a strong sense of self - I'd say that whether you realized it or not, you knew how to raise them. Good on ya! That's it for now... I'll save my ramble for a time when I've had a few beer