Hi Cary,
Make sure you go to a camera shop, pick them up and see which you prefer. I have a 30D and 300D and much prefer the 30D because it feels much better for me (weightier, fits my hands better, I feel more comfortable using it). It's only 8Mp but the features of the 40d (and now 50d), while they would be nice, aren't necessary for the type of pics I take. So as others have suggested, maybe a 2nd hand 20d/30d may be enough to get you started, put the extra $$ towards another lens.
Also megapixels aren't everythingI've had some professional pics taken of my daughter - and the photographer used a 350d (which is 8Mp) and they are awesome pics.
Check out some reviews about the cameras (here and somewhere like dpreview.com).
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