I'd like the following feature:

A big red button to turn on
"You're obviously a crap photographer and couldn't even make a supermodel look good - let's enable Full Artistry mode and I (the camera) will use my hover jets to position myself to the most artisticly good camera position, set myself into the best possible settings from all possible combinations to get the most artistic result, and automatically beam my settings to all remote lights to move and configure themselves automatically to generate the maximum artistry possible for this given scenario"

In no particular order:-

1: Low Noise to ISO25000
2: Fast, buffer-less shooting (fast enough to take the data from the sensor and write to the card meaning the camera never overfills the buffer and slows down) - 15fps shooting until the card is full, no slowdown
3: Inbuilt TTL *RADIO* flash control a la Pocketwizard - not infared/light control
4: GPS logging built in, thanks
5: HD video, done right