Crit please

[thoughton]

I'm not quite sure what to make of this photo. There's something about it that I like but I don't know if it works. Would appreciate any thoughts you fine people have :)

This is my original
http://i807.photobucket.com/albums/yy358/thoughton/K5005612-2.jpg

After messing around with it for a while and being unsatisfied I tried this crop:
http://i807.photobucket.com/albums/yy358/thoughton/K5005612-1.jpg

Does either one work? Is it interesting enough? Should I just bin them both? :)

[Iguanasan]

I have to ask, especially after your suggested crop, what's the subject? Is it the interesting looking door or the man in the window? If it's the man in the window as your crop suggests then I'd have to say that he is quite underexposed and the lights behind him and above him make him very easy to overlook as they steal attention away as does the white planter.

[Marko]

Iggy asks the right question here! This shot has 2 competing elements imo. The overall graphic quality of the building, and the man in the window.
Personally i find the man a distraction and would have preferred that he not be there.
But he is there so I see what you were going for by cropping close-up.
Problem is, his eyes are closed and he's not doing anything....so for me the shot doesn't work well and if it were mine...I'd move on. I think you likely already felt this this by your final question.
"Does either one work? Is it interesting enough? Should I just bin them both? "

[mbrager]

The first picture has a story: The closed door at number 5, the notice on the door, and behind the door a glimpse into who lives there. A man, the fan, a fluorescent lamp, and a single plant on the balcony. Enough rough elements for an imaginary story. I would crop off the top balcony, pipe and mirror, although they lend further elements to the story. In short, I like the photo for the large number of unexplained details that capture a slice of life.

[thoughton]

Thanks for the insight chaps - very useful!

I was going for a slice of life type shot as suggested by mbrager - the closed door but the window showing what was behind it, but clearly that hasn't quite worked out as planned :) Better luck next time!

[mellowinman]

Were you thinking more of something like this?

http://i55.photobucket.com/albums/g123/mellowinman1/K5005612-2a.jpg

[Gremlich]

some additional structure and vibrance, maybe

[kevin99989]

I like the black and white treatment here! (for all pics).

The brightening of the man inside the window is great, maybe try the exact same thing on the second photo (zoomed in version). The flourescent lights inside the window are bit distracting, though. But looks great generally!!

[thoughton]

Thanks again :) Appreciate you taking the time to work on it mellowinman, thanks. I think I've decided to just move on and abandon this as a failed attempt. The light was poor when I took this and I am just not satisfied with the BW conversion, somehow it lacks bite. Not enough contrasty light I think, especially the right half of the photo. The colour version looks even worse :D

[mellowinman]

Thanks again :) Appreciate you taking the time to work on it mellowinman, thanks. I think I've decided to just move on and abandon this as a failed attempt. The light was poor when I took this and I am just not satisfied with the BW conversion, somehow it lacks bite. Not enough contrasty light I think, especially the right half of the photo. The colour version looks even worse :D

I was happy to do it, because I just wanted to see if that's the type of thing you were going for. Can you go back there, and get it in better light? Just because a shot fails, in your opinion, doesn't mean it should be abandoned. Maybe it's closer than you think, and you should go and try to capture something that says what you want to say.

Some of my best photos are photos where I returned to a place, theme or style that I hadn't quite gotten right before.

I totally get what you were going for, and I think your biggest issue, and it's always the biggest issue is that the light is what makes the photo.

I think photography is something like "light painting," or "drinking Vodka straight from the bottle." I can't remember which it is.

[thoughton]

Unfortunately I took this while on a business trip to Barcelona a couple months back, so a reshoot is ... awkward :)

[tbond]

As a novice, with untutored eye, I like both images becasue they pose questions.
I feel there is more story and questions in the first uncropped image. However I think the brightness of the flourescent light is too much of a distractor in both versions. You might try selectively darkening down the flourescent light by masking and see if this helps. Just a novice's thought.

[thoughton]

Thanks for the comments Tbond! Much appreciated. I'll have a look at darkening the light.